My boyfriend and I first moved to Phnom Penh in 2009. I had just turned 25. We flew into the country with no jobs, nowhere to live, and no connections. Six years later we found ourselves leaving an apartment that had come to feel like home, and friends that had come to feel like family. I’ve stared at this screen for five minutes trying to think of a way to adequately express just how much the people I met in Cambodia mean to me. No single sentence is sufficient, so I’ll just say this – friends in Cambodia (you know who are you are!), you are some of the most genuinely wonderful people I have ever known. Meeting you was finding a place to fit – perfectly – and saying goodbye was leaving a part of myself behind.
Cambodia gave me so many incredible experiences. In Cambodia I learned how to dance; saw gibbons in the wild; was introduced to the mythology of Angkor; found my favourite island; learned how complicated it can be to “make a difference”; got my bike fixed; helped some of my best friends get married; lived with diabetes; got rained on; visited river dolphins and jungle elephants; went to Thailand; saw Bob Dylan play live in Vietnam; volunteered at the Kampot Writers Festival … and a hundred other things that would take a year to write down.
We moved to Cambodia because we wanted to travel and live somewhere different. We stayed so long because of the friends we made. And we left because – to put it simply, although it is always so much more complicated – we’d been away from family too long.
Originally, we’d planned a long, slow exit from Southeast Asia. Things didn’t turn out that way, thanks to the uncompromising inflexibility of Australian university scheduling. Six-months-left-in-Cambodia quickly became six weeks. In that small window of leaving I coordinated my last writing workshop; taught lessons on space, Canadian wolves, and Taylor Swift; watched Ponyo until way past everyone’s bedtime; ate pancakes with my favourite radioactive friend (and a baby goat); and – finally – drove to the airport with two of the world’s most beautiful people, and their incredible little girl (all of whom I miss every day).
In the last few weeks before I left – when everything was too-quick and too-much and completely surreal – I went to a meditation session at Wat Langka with a friend. We sat for an hour in silence, a whole Wat full of people with racing minds suddenly putting on the brakes. And just as the clock hit sixty minutes a thin cat wandered in, meowing. A furry, pink-tongued alarm clock. Time to go.
The mental turmoil of packing up and moving countries at short notice makes reading difficult. While I was leaving Cambodia I read exactly one book (When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris). Film-watching, on the other hand, lends itself to leaving. In the midst of lists and half-packed bags I watched L’Originne (2009, director Xavier Giannoli), Welcome to Me (2014, Shira Piven), Wild (2014, Jean-Marc Vallee), Wish You Were Here (2012, Kieran Darcy-Smith), Queen of Earth (2015, Alex Ross Perry), The One I Love (2014, Charlie McDowell), Mean Girls (2004, Mark Waters), The Jane Austen Book Club (2007, Robin Swicord), Adventureland (2009, Greg Mottola), Bad Timing (1980, Nicolas Roeg), Murderous Maids (2000, Jean-Pierre Denis), Tamara Drewe (2010, Stephen Frears), The Old Garden (2006, Im Sang-soo), Oslo August 31 (2011, Joachim Trier), Le Orme (1975, Luigi Bazzoni), and Primer (2004, Shane Carruth). A strange, often disturbing, sometimes boring, always different mix of moments: a French con-man, an American theme park, a New Zealand herd of cows, a Korean uprising, a Norwegian heroin addict. Somehow lifted me off the ground, onto a plane, and back to Australia.
And though I’m no longer there, it is comforting to know that Cambodia is not so far away. We might have moved away, but we won’t forget where we’ve been.
The rowing boat passes by
The bank remains
(from ‘Cambodian strolls and proverbs’, Isabelle Fournier-Nicolle & Anne Yvonne Guillou, 2009)