Since I finished uni last month I’ve been on a bit of a reading spree. My book binge is thanks – in large part – to Text Publishing, who generously provided me with a wonderful selection of middle grade and young adult fiction. This post is an attempt to capture the joyful, heartbreaking and happily-strange experience of reading for kids and young adults.

IMG_20170625_082919I started with last year’s Text Prize winner – Beautiful Mess by Claire Christian (in the form of an uncorrected proof). Thanks to my six-month-old puppy the spine of this book is now its own beautiful mess, but this didn’t stop me finding a place for it on my bookshelf. Beautiful Mess is a novel that treats IMG_20170625_082952teenage readers as young adults – its characters are flawed, there is no happily-ever-after ending … And yet there is hope. Beautiful Mess is funny, engaging and overwhelmingly honest. This is a novel capable of rekindling a love of reading; a friend recently emailed me to say that the sixteen-year-old she had given Beautiful Mess to had previously lost interest in reading, but now loves it again. What writer could ask for a better review than that?

 

IMG_20170625_155816Goodbye Stranger by American author Rebecca Stead sits somewhere between middle grade and young adult fiction. I was drawn in by the characters and the story almost immediately. Reading a book like this (especially in winter) is like getting into a warm bath – cosy and totally immersive. I loved the little details of this novel – Bridge and her cat ears, Sherm’s unsent letters – and how they wound themselves into a larger message about the meaning of life. Goodbye Stranger also tackles some difficult issues – such as relationships and social media – in ways that reveal the complex motivations behind teenage behaviour.

Iris and the Tiger (Leanne Hall) and Elizabeth and Zenobia (Jessica Miller) seem IMG_20170625_082903geared towards younger readers, though the ideas in both of these novels are complex. What struck me most about these two books was the element of surrealism running through them. Iris and the Tiger is based around surrealism in art, and suggests – through the protagonist’s encounters with a number of unreal and unusual creatures – that art (and life) is all about perception. Elizabeth and Zenobia – a dark tale of grief and ghosts – creates an atmosphere that is increasingly strange, fantastic, and creepy.

IMG_20170625_082829I also read a couple of young adult novels from the Text Classics collection. Hills End by Ivan Southall was first published in 1962, and feels like a darker and more complex Enid Blyton story. A post-disaster survival tale that skips easily between perspectives to reveal the insecurities of each character, Hills End avoids the traditional adults-to-the-rescue ending. I can’t believe I have never encountered this novel before now. Likewise I for Isobel by Amy Witting, IMG_20170625_082817the first novel for young adults I’ve ever read that is written in an almost stream of consciousness style. This book is internal to the point of feeling claustrophobic at times, but beautifully written. And very dark. Like Beautiful Mess, I for Isobel doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to theme, starting with the trauma of being born to a mother who doesn’t (can’t?) love her children. I found a lot to like about this book, and it definitely warrants a re-read.

IMG_20170625_082759I finished with Kimberly Brubaker Bradley’s novel The War That Saved My Life, set during World War II in London and rural England. I absolutely loved this book. From the very beginning I was right there beside Ada and Jamie as they are evacuated from London before the city is bombed. Again, this is a book for kids that doesn’t shy away from difficult experiences and emotions. Like I for Isobel, Ada is processing the trauma of a mother who doesn’t love her; who is actively cruel. This novel presents Ada’s emotional upheaval realistically, and with no easy explanations. As readers we ride the waves of fear and despair and uncertainty along with Ada. The War That Saved My Life presents so many questions for young (and old) readers, and would be a great book to read and discuss with a class.

I’m really impressed with Text for publishing books for young readers that are so different – books that don’t talk down to kids and teenagers, books that offer up ideas and characters that are complex. The kinds of books that kids can both enjoy and be inspired by. I’m excited to recommend these novels to young adults I know, and to incorporate them into my teaching. And – of course – I’m excited to read more books like these. I’m proud to be a grown adult who loves reading middle grade and YA fiction. A good book is a good book, and these are some of the best I’ve read in a long time.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about finding theme in novels, using Hannah Kent’s20170528_104135 Burial Rites – a Year 12 text – as an example. Over the past few months I’ve also been working through Tim Winton’s 2004 book The Turning with a student in Year 11. I write ‘book’ rather than ‘short story anthology’ or ‘novel’ because The Turning sits somewhere between the two, presenting seventeen separate stories that – when seen as a whole – also support a wider narrative. It makes sense, however, to look at each story individually before considering the links between them (links that, on the third read, I’m still discovering). It struck me – as I started thinking more deeply about The Turning – that searching for theme in a short story is quite a different exercise to finding theme in a novel. For years now I have returned to the following quote from Anne Enright to frame my understanding of the short story form:

“A story is something told, something that really needs to be said. The most we can say perhaps is that a short story is about a moment in life; and that, after this moment, we realise something has changed.”

In a novel we observe how the protagonist (as well as other characters) changes over time, across many – connected – ‘moments.’ A short story, however, doesn’t have the space for such a journey. The beauty of this form, for me, is its intense focus on one moment; its ability to show how transformative a single detail can be to a person’s life. As a reader, I turn to short stories when I feel the need to slow down, to concentrate, to notice the specific rather than the general. Sometimes I like to think about writing as if it were the zoom function on a camera. Imagine looking through a camera at a field. A novel is the whole image – the sky, the grass, the roots beneath the soil; a novella zooms in a little closer, perhaps just the grass; and a short story is a single blade of grass. (To take this analogy even further you might think of poetry as being a drop of dew on that blade of grass!)

In thinking about the seventeen stories that make up The Turning, my student and I have attempted – in each story – to identify two things:

  1. What is the “moment in life” for this story? In other words, what is the most important moment, the moment that stands out?

  2. After this moment, what has changed?

That change gives us a clue to the story’s theme (just as looking at what changes for a protagonist across a larger narrative can indicate the theme of a novel).

Some examples from The Turning:

‘Abbreviation’

  1. There are a couple of stand-out moments in this story. First, Vic Lang is kissed – in a particularly memorable way – by an older girl with a missing finger. Later in the story he is painfully injured in a fishing accident.

  2. Both of these moments cause Vic to realise the link between pain and memory. This is – in essence – a coming of age tale. Vic learns that adult life is both beautiful and painful, that pain is necessary. As Melanie says – “all the big things hurt, the things you remember. If it doesn’t hurt it’s not important” (p.26).

‘Family’

  1. It’s hard to look past a shark attack as a key moment in a story. Frank (Leaper) is surfing with his brother Max. Max is attacked by a whale shark, and Frank swims him to shore.

  2. After this moment Frank realises that, in spite of the way Max treats him, he cannot help but care about his brother. And it is this love that stops Frank from succeeding – “Just the thought of you was a weight in my legs, and the more I cared the worse it was” (p.187).

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‘Long, Clear View’

  1. Vic Lang is barely a teenager when his Dad leaves. Suddenly, Vic is responsible for his mother and baby sister. He takes his father’s rifle from the wardrobe and stands with it at the window, watching the town.

  2. After this Vic is constantly on guard. He is unable to relax for years, well into his adult life. “You can hold out for as long as it takes,” the young Vic thinks, “to have everyone home safe, returned to themselves and how things used to be” (p.204).

Three stories with three quite different themes – the necessity of pain (‘Abbreviation’), the burden of love (‘Family’), and the burden of responsibility (‘Long, Clear View’). There are, however, thematic links that run between these stories, and through the other fourteen. The ideas of memory, the power of the past over our present selves, and the often difficult but inescapable fact of family recur throughout the collection.

What makes The Turning a little more novel-like in its structure, however, is its links between characters and narrative events. The town of Angelus serves as a backdrop for many of the stories, and Vic Lang and his family (his mother, his father, and his wife) are prominent recurring characters. Details in a number of stories hint at something sinister going on in the background; there is another, larger, story that runs through the book about the underbelly of Angelus, about drugs and violence and police corruption. When we zoom out on The Turning we see a picture of a place and a group of people that stretches across decades. This is what, for me, makes The Turning so unique. It is a book that simultaneously satisfies my interest in story, and my desire for moments of change.

Tim Winton lives in Western Australia. His other novels include The Riders, Dirt Music and Cloudstreet. In 2013 The Turning was adapted into a film, with seventeen different directors interpreting the stories. Unlike the book, the film lacks the overarching character and narrative connections.

Just a quick post in the midst of furiously finishing uni assignments to announce some exciting news …

My very first novel – The Peacock Detectives – has been shortlisted for The Text Prize

&

will be published by Text Publishing!

The Peacock Detectives is a novel for middle-grade readers (roughly ages 8 to 12) about a young girl searching for two peacocks that disappear from the holiday flats next door. Ostensibly a mystery, The Peacock Detectives is really about family, grief and coping with mental illness.

I first started working on The Peacocks in 2012 while I was living in Asia. Huge thanks to the dedicated members of Seoul Writers Workshop and Phnom Penh Writers Workshop for their thoughtful and constructive feedback. Thanks also to all those family members, students and friends (and children of friends!) who read drafts and shared their thoughts.

And of course thank you to Text! I’m incredibly excited about the opportunity to work with this wonderful publisher.

Finally, congratulations to the other three shortlistees – Adam Cece, Sharon Kernot and Brendan Lawley. I’m looking forward to meeting you all in May and reading your work!

Okay, excited post over. Resuming assignments … now.

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peacock artwork by Emma Manning

When I was in high school I thought themes were mysterious secrets locked inside novels, short stories, poems. Discovering them was like solving a cryptic crossword clue – finding a word to fit the boxes but never being exactly sure of the connection between the answer and the question. For a while I relied on teachers or Google to reveal the themes of a novel to me. It has taken probably ten years to wrap my head around what I really mean when I talk about themes – and it has taken teaching ‘theme’ to finally allow me to articulate it.

So. Articulate away then, Carly. What’s a theme?

Theme

  • A theme is a big idea in a novel (or short story, film, poem, play etc).

  • It is a big idea that recurs throughout a novel. Not just once or twice.

  • It is a big idea in the sense that it is broad and abstract: something universal (experienced by everyone) and yet subjective (experienced differently by everyone).

  • It is a big idea in the sense that everyone would – if they had to draw the idea – create a slightly different picture.

  • Some examples of big ideas (i.e. themes) are: love, identity, death.

  • It is a big idea PLUS the author’s interpretation/opinion of that idea. For example: love PLUS/+ takes many different forms and changes over time.

  • A novel is itself a specific example of a theme. A novel is a picture of the big idea. One person’s (the author’s) drawing of what this idea is about.

  • Novels have themes (big, over-arching ideas) and characters, narrative, setting (small, specific examples of themes).

  • Themes are found by looking at these examples (characters, narrative etc) and thinking about what keeps coming up. What are the characters preoccupied with, for example? In Burial Rites, why are there so many mentions of ravens? What sort of theme (big idea) might this be an example of?

Another way of thinking about – and figuring out – theme is to look at plot structure. I like to think about plot as a mountain shape – the story begins at the bottom of the mountain, a problem starts the climb, rising action is the climb, the climax sits at the top, and falling action is the descent. However, when a story comes back down its mountain it doesn’t end up at exactly the same level as it did when it began. This is because, although things go back to normal for the protagonist, it is a new normal. Something has changed – permanently – because of the story, because of the journey she or he has taken.

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In order to decide on the major theme of a novel it is sometimes useful to think about the following equation:

what has changed for the protagonist

+

why

=

theme

Burial Rites by Hannah Kent

I first read Burial Rites last year, based on a friend’s recommendation. It was very different to what I was expecting. I think, because Hannah Kent is an Australian author, I was imagining something set in the bush, the outback, the Aussie suburbs. Needless to say, 1820s Iceland was a surprise.

20170326_152622I liked Burial Rites after the first read. I thought the story was interesting, well-paced; I thought the writing was beautiful and crisp. I liked it, but I was not really invested in it. I felt like there was more to it, and that it warranted a second read. I wasn’t, however, planning to read it again. There are so many books on my shelf that haven’t had a first read. In a perfect world, I would love to read every book twice. There is something so different about a second read, but I just don’t have time.

Burial Rites is a Year 12 text, and I happen to be tutoring a few Year 12 students. So it was out of necessity, rather than choice, that I came to read Burial Rites a second time. And after the second read things really started to seep into me. So much so that by the end – knowing exactly how it would end – I was moved almost to tears.

The second read of a novel is where theme really starts to come into focus. Because you know the story you can concentrate on the details – on the description, the characters, the repeated moments, the structure of the narrative. You can highlight and scribble notes in the margins, and begin to see the symbolic shape of the novel rather than just its events.

One of the big ideas that recurs throughout Burial Rites – that starts to become clear during a second read – is identity. The very structure of the novel – told in third person from a number of different points of view – hints at this. So does the main character’s – Agnes – need to tell her story, to let people know who she is, to confirm her own identity.

Identity is a universal idea. Everyone has an identity, and everyone attempts to understand the identities of people around them. It is also a specific, subjective idea. Everyone thinks differently about how to define themselves and those around them. Do we understand identity by looking at physical appearance, by listening to what people say about themselves, or what others say about them?

Trying to understand what Hannah Kent thinks about the theme of identity (her opinion or the value she places on it) is a little trickier. To find out, we can look at how she presents the journeys of her main characters. How they are changed through the course of the story, and what this says about who they are.

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Let’s focus on Agnes. How is she different by the end of the novel to the beginning? Most obviously, she is alive at the beginning and dead at the end. Her physical state has changed. But what about her mental state?

Burial Rites is – in a very large sense – the story of a woman trying to come to terms with the fact that she is going to die. She is preparing for death, getting ready. At the beginning of the novel she is not ready to die. At the end – though she is still terrified of her execution – something has changed. She has made some peace, she has found people who support her, who don’t believe she deserves to die. She has gone from being alone in her death, to being with others.

Why? What was it that changed these circumstances for Agnes?

I would argue that it was the fact that she was able to tell her own story. To show people who she was through action (her hard work on the farm, her care for others) but also through her own words.

So – what has changed? Agnes is accepted, supported, has her identity confirmed by others.

+

Why? Because she was allowed to demonstrate her identity through words and actions.

=

Theme: True identity is discovered through being given the freedom to express ourselves through how we tell our own stories, and through what we do.

Of course, all this is open to interpretation. There is no fixed rule about how to find themes in texts – this post is an illustration of my own personal approach, of an approach that works for me. As long as you can support your own thematic opinions with evidence from the text, anything you say is valid.

Some people feel that by analysing novels we destroy them, draining all the pleasure out of a good story by picking away too closely at the details. For me, however, looking closely at a text (reading it again, highlighting, note-taking, discussing, thinking) adds another layer to my experience that is so much richer. I like analysing novels for the same reason I write about them here on this blog – because it gets me to think deeper, and in thinking deeper I inevitably find something that surprises, inspires or simply changes my ideas. This is a process that I find both enjoyable and important to the way I grow as a person, the way I interact with the world. Searching for meaning in a novel like Burial Rites adds another thread of meaning to my own life. It’s a search that enriches, engrosses, and lasts a lifetime.

Burial Rites is Hannah Kent’s first novel, and is based on the true story of Agnes Magnusdottir, the last person to be executed in Iceland. Kent’s latest novel – The Good People – was published in 2016.

I made a resolution at the beginning of this year to write a new blog post once a month. Then we adopted a puppy, and already this first post of 2017 is overdue. Puppy demands walks and cuddles and food. Puppy distracts me with her floppy ears and gangly legs. 20170118_191302Puppy chewed my computer cord and left me – until yesterday – disconnected.

I had planned to write about Haruki Murakami’s memoir What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, a book I’d wanted to read for years. I found a copy recently at a twilight market stall, and bought it just before the rain started and the remaining books were hastily covered up.

I had wanted to talk about Murakami. But then we adopted a puppy, and everything shifted slightly sideways. Even now I’m writing this at 10pm, with puppy – finally – asleep beside me on the couch. Even now I’m snatching time between walks and food puzzles and games of fetch to Get Things Done.

(Note: I am aware that adopting a puppy is not the same as having a baby, and that there may be an amount of hyperbole present in this post.)

I had wanted to talk about Murakami. About how this was the first of his non-fiction I had read. About how it wasn’t as inspiring or thought-provoking as I expected it to be – I was waiting for more connections between writing and running, waiting for it to come together somehow. But it felt very stream-of-consciousness, like a journal without much editing. Some of the phrasing felt cliched, even a little cheesy. These could all be problems with translation; apparently Murakami’s work is often translated very literally, without much poetic license taken. It could also be that I am not a runner. Not really. I dabble in a few laps around the park here and there, but I don’t do marathons.

Or it could be that we got a puppy, and my attention was elsewhere. When I talk about adopting a puppy I talk about training. I talk about toys and vet visits and food. I talk about the joy and the stress relief. I talk about the way a puppy at once takes over life and somehow also fits into it, the way writing does. And, I suppose, running does, too.

One of the most useful things Murakami focuses on in his memoir is the importance of using writing as a way of clarifying personal goals and clearing thoughts. Playing with a puppy, I think, can help us do the same things. Being on the floor with a piece of rope, playing tug-of-war, relaxes my brain and frees it up from thoughts of school and grocery lists and uni assignments to wonder about other things. Like a piece of music on the radio, or a new novel, or a friend I haven’t spoken to for months. This funny, floppy, furry little girl is taking me on more walks, but she is also slowing me down. She is setting a new pace for our lives. And we are – so far – happily keeping up.

What I Talk About When I Talk About Running was first published in 2008, and was translated by Philip Gabriel. Other works of non-fiction by Murakami include Underground: The Tokyo Gas Attack and the Japanese Psyche.

My car is full of 90s mix-tapes. Driving in Australia has become an exercise in nostalgia: Rage Against the Machine, Spice Girls, Take That, the Scatman. Each song carries with it a high school memory: a party, a friendship, a boy, a fight. It is a strange form of time travel.

It’s been eight years since I’ve lived in Australia. Eight years since I’ve had a fixed Aussie address, tax file number, bank account. Coming back toimg_20161214_182114 Australia from Southeast Asia creates a kind of reverse culture shock. We are surprised when cars slow down for us at pedestrian crossings, shocked by the seemingly exorbitant price of mangos, and confused by the workings of local government. It’s a tricky transition, but an exciting one. There is the thrill of fresh air, of bird song, of having a backyard that borders the bush. And, of course, there is the joy that comes with reuniting with family and friends.

We’ve moved back to my home town, where my parents still live. We are renting the house across the street from where I grew up, and earlier this year I did a teaching placement at my old high school. In a way it’s like slipping into a parallel universe – the same place, but a very different life. The same birds (kookaburras, king parrots, currawongs), the same trees (gums, pines, wattles), the same mammals and reptiles (kangaroos, possums, blue-tongues). But instead of walking to school I’m driving; instead of studying for SACs and exams I’m teaching for them. I pay rent and bills and (try to) remember to put petrol in the car. Suddenly I’m living a ‘grown-up’ existence in a place where I was always a kid. Needless to say, it’s taking some getting used to.

We moved here for a number of reasons. We moved in such a hurry because university said I had to. Since February I’ve been studying a Master of Teaching (basically a one-year diploma with an extra six months of research tacked on the end). I could write an entire post on this course – on how it’s taken over my life, on the disconnection between theory and practice, on the wonderfully hard-working teachers I’ve met on placement. But, to be honest, I need a break from all-things-uni. Perhaps when it’s all done in mid-2017 I’ll be able to write about the experience with some objectivity.

As busy as it’s been, working as a pre-service English teacher has allowed me to dive back into reading. In the last year – for my teaching placements – I’ve read: Hating Alison Ashley by Robin Klein and 20160429_125519Dragonkeeper by Carole Wilkinson (Year 7); Hatchet by Gary Paulsen and Tomorrow When The War Began by John Marsden (Year 8); Deadly Unna by Phillip Gwynne, Parvana by Deborah Ellis, Private Peaceful by Michael Murpurgo, Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare and Galax-Arena by Gillian Rubinstein (Year 9); The Secret River by Kate Grenville, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, The Happiest Refugee by Ahn Do, 12 Angry Men by Reginald Rose and First They Killed My Father by Luong Ung (Year 10); Macbeth by William Shakespeare, The Turning by Tim Winton, Animal Farm by George Orwell and The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (Year 11); The Thing Around Your Neck by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, The Life of Galileo by Bertolt Brecht, The Lieutenant by Kate Grenville and This Boy’s Life by Tobias Wolff (Year 12).

Somehow I also managed to read quite a few non-school books, mostly thanks to the local library. To be honest, I stopped keeping track after a while, but the ones I did write down included The Tiger’s Wife by Tea O’Breht, Dark Places by Gillian Flynn, After the Flood by Margaret Atwood (the sequel to Oryx and Crake), Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell and Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer.

If I had to choose a favourite book for 2016, it would be Burial Rites by Hannah Kent. A novel by an Australian author, set in Iceland in 1829. A little slow moving at times, but very atmospheric. Lovely descriptions of weather and the landscape. There is a compelling mystery at the heart of the story that kept me up late. In many ways, Burial Rites feels simple – a very readable novel about a crime committed, about relationships and place. However, there is a lot left to the imagination, too. The powerlessness of individuals in the face of the law, the relationship between Iceland and Denmark, the impact of religion. This is a novel that cries out to be re-read.

When uni became too much I retreated to my hard drive, and watched Sleeping Sickness (2011, director Ulrich Kohler), Secret Sunshine (2007, Lee Chang-dong), Sound of My Voice (2011, Zal Batmanglij), Narcos (TV series, 2015-, created by Carlo Bernard, Chris Brancato and Doug Miro), Through the Forest (2005, Jean-Paul Civeyrac), Vinyan (2008, Fabrice Du Welz), The Girlfriend Experience (2009, Steven Soderbergh), They Might Be Giants (1971, Anthony Harvey), London to Brighton (2006, Paul Andrew Williams), Mingri Tianya (2003, Yu Lik-wai), West of Memphis (documentary, 2012, Amy J. Berg), Dark House (2014, Victor Salva), The Witch (2015, Robert Eggers), Hunger (1966, Henning Carlsen), Post Mortem (2010, Pablo Larrain), The State I Am In (2000, Christian Petzold), Looking for Mr Goodbar (1977, Richard Brooks), Ravanche (2008, Gotz Spielmann), Miss Bala (2011, Gerardo Naranjo), The Last of England (1988, Derek Jarman), Girls’ Night Out (1998, Im Sang-soo), Old Boy (2003, Park Chan-wook), Whiplash (2014, Damien Chazelle) and Snowtown (2011, Justin Kurzel).

A number of films stood out for me this year (The Witch, Old Boy, Miss Bala, Vinyan, Sound of My Voice, Secret Sunshine, Snowtown). The film that had the biggest impact on me, however, was Blind Mountain (2007), directed by Li Yang. Set in China in the early 90s, Blind Mountain tells the story of a woman sold for marriage to a rural family. The simple setting, dialogue and music – the only soundtrack throughout the entire film is a man’s unaccompanied, guttural singing – highlight the complexity of the injustice this woman suffers. The majority of the film is a series of escape attempts that had me gritting my teeth. The ending is inevitable, and yet still surprising. I was an emotional wreck after watching this, but also aware of the futility of simply assigning blame. Li does a good job of showcasing the pressures that result in such a horrific situation. This is the kind of film that could create conversation and potentially instigate a shift in thinking. Potentially. Not an easy film to watch, but highly recommended.

Now it’s December, and life has finally afforded me some good weather and free time. I’m using it to sit outside, look for platypuses, write, and generally comes to terms with where I am.

So far, so good.

Thanks for reading, and happy new year. Scraps & Fragments will be back in 2017 – see you then!

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Hannah Kent was born in Adelaide. Her most recent novel, The Good People, was published in 2016.

Li Yang is a Chinese director and writer. His first film – Blind Shaft – was released in 2003.

My boyfriend and I first moved to Phnom Penh in 2009. I had just turned 25. We flew into the country with no jobs, nowhere to live, and no connections. Six years later we found ourselves leaving an apartment thatimg_20160302_113803 had come to feel like home, and friends that had come to feel like family. I’ve stared at this screen for five minutes trying to think of a way to adequately express just how much the people I met in Cambodia mean to me. No single sentence is sufficient, so I’ll just say this – friends in Cambodia (you know who are you are!), you are some of the most genuinely wonderful people I have ever known. Meeting you was finding a place to fit – perfectly – and saying goodbye was leaving a part of myself behind.

Cambodia gave me so many incredible experiences. In Cambodia I learned how to dance; saw gibbons in the wild; was introduced to the mythology of Angkor; found my favourite island; learned how complicated it can be to “make a difference”; got my bike fixed; helped some of my best friends get married; lived with diabetes; got rained on; visited river dolphins and jungle elephants; went to Thailand; saw Bob Dylan play live in Vietnam; volunteered at the Kampot Writers Festival … and a hundred other things that would take a year to write down.

We moved to Cambodia because we wanted to travel and live somewhere different. We stayed so long because of the friends we made. And we left because – to put it simply, although it is always so much more complicated – we’d been away from family too long.

20160220_113657Originally, we’d planned a long, slow exit from Southeast Asia. Things didn’t turn out that way, thanks to the uncompromising inflexibility of Australian university scheduling. Six-months-left-in-Cambodia quickly became six weeks. In that small window of leaving I coordinated my last writing workshop; taught lessons on space, Canadian wolves, and Taylor Swift; watched Ponyo until way past everyone’s bedtime; ate pancakes with my favourite radioactive friend (and a baby goat); and – finally – drove to the airport with two of the world’s most beautiful people, and their incredible little girl (all of whom I miss every day).

In the last few weeks before I left – when everything was too-quick and too-much and completely surreal – I went to a meditation session at Wat Langka with a friend. We sat for an hour in silence, a whole Wat full of people12801438_10153989122340477_1756996893335274105_n with racing minds suddenly putting on the brakes. And just as the clock hit sixty minutes a thin cat wandered in, meowing. A furry, pink-tongued alarm clock. Time to go.

The mental turmoil of packing up and moving countries at short notice makes reading difficult. While I was leaving Cambodia I read exactly one book (When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris). Film-watching, on the other hand, lends itself to leaving. In the midst of lists and half-packed bags I watched L’Originne (2009, director Xavier Giannoli), Welcome to Me (2014, Shira Piven), Wild (2014, Jean-Marc Vallee), Wish You Were Here (2012, Kieran Darcy-Smith), Queen of Earth (2015, Alex Ross Perry), The One I Love (2014, Charlie McDowell), Mean Girls (2004, Mark Waters), The Jane Austen Book Club (2007, Robin Swicord), Adventureland (2009, Greg Mottola), Bad Timing (1980, Nicolas Roeg), Murderous Maids (2000, Jean-Pierre Denis), Tamara Drewe (2010, Stephen Frears), The Old Garden (2006, Im Sang-soo), Oslo August 31 (2011, Joachim Trier), Le Orme (1975, Luigi Bazzoni), and Primer (2004, Shane Carruth). A strange, often disturbing, sometimes boring, always different mix of moments: a French con-man, an American theme park, a New Zealand herd of cows, a Korean uprising, a Norwegian heroin addict. Somehow lifted me off the ground, onto a plane, and back to Australia.

And though I’m no longer there, it is comforting to know that Cambodia is not so far away. We might have moved away, but we won’t forget where we’ve been.

The rowing boat passes by

The bank remains

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Photo by Yeng Chheangly

(from ‘Cambodian strolls and proverbs’, Isabelle Fournier-Nicolle & Anne Yvonne Guillou, 2009)